Toddler Turmoil - Controlling the Schedule | Deb Robins, Kick Ass Advice, Children | DONNE TEMPO
Toddler Turmoil - Controlling the Schedule
Good Morning Crap Shovelers!
Jennifer writes about a problem we all enocounter-- be it with the toddler or country club groups we have in our lives.
Debbie - I have a three-year-old daughter who is such a joy. She attends preschool three days per week and is at
home with me the rest of the time. I am
surrounded by moms who have enrolled their
children in every conceivable class, be it music
or sports or art or languages.
I feel they are too young to be so scheduled and need to spend a lot of downtime to foster their creativity and to learn to self-motivate and I honestly don't plan to be the taxi driver to all of these places.
Then there are the endless "mom's night out" events. How do I stop the barrage of invitations for these things without losing the friendships? Saying no to one thing is OK, saying no to most everything is starting to create a problem.
Help! -
Jennifer
Jennifer,
Thanks so much for writing in for some kick-ass advice. I really want to applaud you for remembering life’s golden rule: take care of yourself so you can take care of others.
When parents become a “taxi service” for their kids, everyone loses. Why?
Because taxicab drivers are exhausted, bored and irritable people. I should know, I live in New York City!
I also agree with you that unstructured time fosters a child’s imagination. Bravo to you for making such intelligent choices for yourself and your loved ones.
In response to your question about how to say no to certain “mommy” invitations without losing the friendships, here’s what I suggest:
#1 - make the commitment, one friend at a time, to explain to them more about who you are as a person. Share with them that you need alone time to stay balanced, including one-on-one time with your daughter. Different strokes for different folks! Most important, let them know that saying “no” does not mean you don’t want to be friends. You do!
#2 - Enthusiastically tell them to keep the invitations coming. You don’t want to isolate yourself, and I’m sure there are times you will want to accept.
#3 - Own that knowing what works for you – what brings you joy and balance – is a good thing. Having clear boundaries that are clearly communicated is also a good thing. I invite you to write to me again. I’m here to support you, Jennifer, in any way I can.
Debbie Robins
deb@kickassadvice.com
Join the Shovel It! Gang. You can make a difference.
Debbie Robins is highly respected corporate, executive, career coach with deep roots in the entertainment industry. Deb is also the author of two books, Where Peace Lives, which has been on two best seller lists and enjoys endorsements from Deepak Chopra, Gore Vidal, Maria Shriver, Arianna Huffington, Penny Marshall, Jane Seymour, Debbie Ford and more. And Shovel It! Kick-Ass Advice To Turn Life’s Crap Into The Peace And Happiness You Deserve coming out Nov. ‘09/Alyson Publishing/NYC, with celebrity contributions from Deepak Chopra, Rosanna Arquette, Sandra Bernhard, Julia Ormond, Carolyn Bivens, Daniel Powter and more.
You can communicate with Debbie by sending her an email to deb@kickassadvice.com If you do not wish your question published and/or answered in this forum, please clearly state that in your email.
For those leaving comments. Watch your language. Don’t be mean or throw stones at others. Donne Tempo Magazine, the editor and/or staff and/or Deb Robins is not responsible for any comment left by a reader, but we retain the right to remove any comment that we decide is offensive.
Jennifer writes about a problem we all enocounter-- be it with the toddler or country club groups we have in our lives.
Debbie - I have a three-year-old daughter who is such a joy. She attends preschool three days per week and is at
I feel they are too young to be so scheduled and need to spend a lot of downtime to foster their creativity and to learn to self-motivate and I honestly don't plan to be the taxi driver to all of these places.
Then there are the endless "mom's night out" events. How do I stop the barrage of invitations for these things without losing the friendships? Saying no to one thing is OK, saying no to most everything is starting to create a problem.
Help! -
Jennifer
Jennifer,
Thanks so much for writing in for some kick-ass advice. I really want to applaud you for remembering life’s golden rule: take care of yourself so you can take care of others.
When parents become a “taxi service” for their kids, everyone loses. Why?
Because taxicab drivers are exhausted, bored and irritable people. I should know, I live in New York City!
I also agree with you that unstructured time fosters a child’s imagination. Bravo to you for making such intelligent choices for yourself and your loved ones.
In response to your question about how to say no to certain “mommy” invitations without losing the friendships, here’s what I suggest:
#1 - make the commitment, one friend at a time, to explain to them more about who you are as a person. Share with them that you need alone time to stay balanced, including one-on-one time with your daughter. Different strokes for different folks! Most important, let them know that saying “no” does not mean you don’t want to be friends. You do!
#2 - Enthusiastically tell them to keep the invitations coming. You don’t want to isolate yourself, and I’m sure there are times you will want to accept.
#3 - Own that knowing what works for you – what brings you joy and balance – is a good thing. Having clear boundaries that are clearly communicated is also a good thing. I invite you to write to me again. I’m here to support you, Jennifer, in any way I can.
Debbie Robins
deb@kickassadvice.com
Join the Shovel It! Gang. You can make a difference.
Debbie Robins is highly respected corporate, executive, career coach with deep roots in the entertainment industry. Deb is also the author of two books, Where Peace Lives, which has been on two best seller lists and enjoys endorsements from Deepak Chopra, Gore Vidal, Maria Shriver, Arianna Huffington, Penny Marshall, Jane Seymour, Debbie Ford and more. And Shovel It! Kick-Ass Advice To Turn Life’s Crap Into The Peace And Happiness You Deserve coming out Nov. ‘09/Alyson Publishing/NYC, with celebrity contributions from Deepak Chopra, Rosanna Arquette, Sandra Bernhard, Julia Ormond, Carolyn Bivens, Daniel Powter and more.
You can communicate with Debbie by sending her an email to deb@kickassadvice.com If you do not wish your question published and/or answered in this forum, please clearly state that in your email.
For those leaving comments. Watch your language. Don’t be mean or throw stones at others. Donne Tempo Magazine, the editor and/or staff and/or Deb Robins is not responsible for any comment left by a reader, but we retain the right to remove any comment that we decide is offensive.