Motherhood, Parenting and Growth | Cecie says | ENTERTAINMENT
Motherhood, Parenting and Growth
May/10/08 07:51 PM Filed in: Cecie says
Giving birth is a life changing experience. I
could comfortably posit that it does, indeed,
make you a better person. Motherhood allowed me
to grow as a person in a way that no other
experience could. It gave me the chance to care
about someone more than myself, in a healthy way.
I was self-consumed because my primary responsibility was to care for my own well being. Motherhood allowed me to break out of that selfishness and assume the role of a primary caregiver. I was suddenly consumed with purpose, every moment of my life I was doing what I had been created to do.
This honeymoon period lasts a few years, if you have one child, and can continue in many forms indefinitely, but only until your next child is born if you have a second. You then realize that there is no possibility of fulfilling your great purpose to two small needy beings at once. There is a lower quality of care. You, the caregiver, are not perfect.
As the parent of more than one child you cannot always respond immediately and this too can be a good thing developmentally. Those years of successful dedication and fulfilling bonding are a gift but realizing that organization, advance planning, and schedules can help you avoid obvious conflicts of interest and attention. It helps you to accept that you are not the perfect, all doing, totally loved and loving creature you thought you might be after all, which is actually a good thing to know.
It is also good to know that perfect or not you are still given the gift of serving your children and fostering their secure attachment to you and the world.
This is all in the early years of childhood. Those rosy days will last until the age of reason kicks in. Then your child, who has been developing their sense of self in a wonderful and appropriate way, and seeking your approval with each step, must challenges the very structures of your paradigm.
How can I tell the truth if you want me to be polite? How can it be fair for me to apologize when I am not at fault? Why must a group suffer if one person acts wrongly? Why are people in power not kinder? How can I forgive if I am
angry? Why do people eat cows and not horses?
…And many, many more explorations of your ethics and the workings of the world. More likely, than not, your child will not reach the same conclusions you have and it may take them years to accept that you have valid opinions after all, whether they agree or not. These doubts can lead to disconnection.
We are products of our environments, experiences and educations. What defines us is as much what we do not believe as what we do.
This period of motherhood is a study in patience and logic. Provide well thought out answers that do not complicate the questions.
Maintain a household in which the rules are fair and unchanging. Parenting now has the same rules that parenting toddlers did: be consistent, be positive, stay calm!
I find that the current gift parenting has given me is considering again my basic understanding of the world, of what is just, and how I can make the world a better place. I must be ready to define and defend, or explore and clarify, my positions in order to share them.
Motherhood is to be exalted, because it enlarges one’s heart, and one’s world. It can make one more understanding and generous. It is a series of evolutions and acceptances. It also determines the future. account for separate children from their parents.
Motherhood is also a political position in the modern world. The overpopulation of the earth is severe. The act of reproduction can be an act of hope or an act of rebellion. A major newspaper recently ran a piece asserting that families larger than three were flaunting wealth. Churches require that families accept the natural consequences of married life and have large families. Everyone has an opinion. The political aspect of motherhood is unavoidable.
So the job, much revered, of motherhood gives much to the mother but also requires much in the way of dedication and growth. I’d like to thank my own mother, and all the mother’s before her, for taking this great journey and making all of us possible.
I was self-consumed because my primary responsibility was to care for my own well being. Motherhood allowed me to break out of that selfishness and assume the role of a primary caregiver. I was suddenly consumed with purpose, every moment of my life I was doing what I had been created to do.
This honeymoon period lasts a few years, if you have one child, and can continue in many forms indefinitely, but only until your next child is born if you have a second. You then realize that there is no possibility of fulfilling your great purpose to two small needy beings at once. There is a lower quality of care. You, the caregiver, are not perfect.
As the parent of more than one child you cannot always respond immediately and this too can be a good thing developmentally. Those years of successful dedication and fulfilling bonding are a gift but realizing that organization, advance planning, and schedules can help you avoid obvious conflicts of interest and attention. It helps you to accept that you are not the perfect, all doing, totally loved and loving creature you thought you might be after all, which is actually a good thing to know.
It is also good to know that perfect or not you are still given the gift of serving your children and fostering their secure attachment to you and the world.
This is all in the early years of childhood. Those rosy days will last until the age of reason kicks in. Then your child, who has been developing their sense of self in a wonderful and appropriate way, and seeking your approval with each step, must challenges the very structures of your paradigm.
How can I tell the truth if you want me to be polite? How can it be fair for me to apologize when I am not at fault? Why must a group suffer if one person acts wrongly? Why are people in power not kinder? How can I forgive if I am
angry? Why do people eat cows and not horses?
…And many, many more explorations of your ethics and the workings of the world. More likely, than not, your child will not reach the same conclusions you have and it may take them years to accept that you have valid opinions after all, whether they agree or not. These doubts can lead to disconnection.
We are products of our environments, experiences and educations. What defines us is as much what we do not believe as what we do.
This period of motherhood is a study in patience and logic. Provide well thought out answers that do not complicate the questions.
Maintain a household in which the rules are fair and unchanging. Parenting now has the same rules that parenting toddlers did: be consistent, be positive, stay calm!
I find that the current gift parenting has given me is considering again my basic understanding of the world, of what is just, and how I can make the world a better place. I must be ready to define and defend, or explore and clarify, my positions in order to share them.
Motherhood is to be exalted, because it enlarges one’s heart, and one’s world. It can make one more understanding and generous. It is a series of evolutions and acceptances. It also determines the future. account for separate children from their parents.
Motherhood is also a political position in the modern world. The overpopulation of the earth is severe. The act of reproduction can be an act of hope or an act of rebellion. A major newspaper recently ran a piece asserting that families larger than three were flaunting wealth. Churches require that families accept the natural consequences of married life and have large families. Everyone has an opinion. The political aspect of motherhood is unavoidable.
So the job, much revered, of motherhood gives much to the mother but also requires much in the way of dedication and growth. I’d like to thank my own mother, and all the mother’s before her, for taking this great journey and making all of us possible.
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